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給孩子充分體驗和自我選擇的機會

發布時間:2019-06-06 作者:王海瀾 來源:中國教育報

教育兒童的前提是認識兒童,教育觀的沖突其實是兒童觀的沖突。依據兒童發展的根本原因,兒童觀可以分為兩類:一是強調兒童是成人的作品,二是堅持兒童是自己建構的產物。現實中,由此產生不同的教育觀念和實踐,使得父母左右搖擺、不知所措。其中的“兒童”主要是指12歲之前的孩子。

第一種兒童觀強調兒童是成人的作品。從古羅馬哲學家愛比克泰德的“兒童即無知,兒童需要教訓”,到19世紀英國優生學家高爾頓的“遺傳決定論”,再到20世紀美國心理學家華生的“環境決定論”等,都認為兒童在其自身發展的過程中是被動適應而不是主動探求的。到了21世紀,這種兒童觀最具代表性的人物無疑是“虎媽”蔡美兒。

美籍華人蔡美兒系耶魯大學終身教授,她堅定地認同并繼承了父母高度期待和高度嚴厲的中國式育兒觀,堅信“孩子們從本性來講,絕不會愛好努力”,因此她的孩子不允許選擇是否要學樂器、不允許參加玩伴聚會、不允許選擇自己喜歡的課外活動、任何一門功課的學習成績不能低于“A”、不允許一天不練琴……兩個女兒被分別培養成出色的鋼琴手和小提琴手,并順利入讀哈佛大學。蔡美兒因此也成為聞名世界的“虎媽”,榮登《時代》雜志封面。

第二種兒童觀堅持兒童是自己建構的產物,堅信兒童天性善良、尊重童年的價值、強調兒童具有內在生命力。18世紀的盧梭、20世紀前半葉的蒙臺梭利和杜威都是這種觀念的倡導者,而英國近代自由教育家尼爾,則是最著名的實踐者。

尼爾于1921年創辦了夏山學校,并用近60年的實踐,使夏山學校成為“自由、自制和把刻板減少到最低程度”的“因材施教的典范”。所謂自由就是在不影響別人的前提下,孩子們可以隨心所欲。如,他們可以決定自己是否要上課、是否要學拉丁文,但不能在有人學習的教室里吹喇叭。

尼爾堅信孩子生來聰明又現實,只要給予他們充分的自由,他們就會發現自己是塊什么料,從而也就能夠發展自己的潛能而根本不需要成人的逼迫。“懶惰的孩子不是身體不好,就是對大人認為他應該做的事不感興趣”。最好的教育就是給孩子提供充分的自由及從事多種活動的機會,讓他們按照自己的意志而非望子成龍的父母或自以為是的教育家的看法去生活。

顯然,兩種兒童觀的沖突,主要體現在孩子應該遵循自己的意愿還是成人的意愿。沖突的根源不僅源于對兒童的天性、兒童期的意義有著不同的認識,也源于對兒童的未來和成功有著不同的期待。蔡美兒立足于“兒童應該是什么”,為女兒確定了社會認可的成功標準:多才多藝、出類拔萃、取得受世人仰視的社會地位,而不在乎孩子原本喜歡什么。而尼爾立足于“兒童實際是什么”,堅持成功源于自我悅納和尋求興趣,是“能快樂地工作、積極地生活”,而不指向世人眼中的專業冷熱及高低貴賤。

那么,現實生活中的家長該何去何從呢?簡單地說,一是給孩子充分體驗的機會,二是給孩子自我選擇的機會。

諸多研究早已告訴我們:兒童具有內在的生命力;兒童的心理發展有自身的特點;兒童的理性思維是建立在感性思維基礎之上的,12歲之前是充分發展兒童感性思維的重要時期。為此,教育要看到“兒童的存在”,要充分地鍛煉兒童的四肢、感覺及各種器官,要關注兒童精神世界獨特的鮮明性、細微性和天真性,而不能只是填塞給他們現成的說法和論斷。

即使是虎媽所言的音樂技能訓練,也需要以充分的感性體驗做基礎。田野和草原的寂靜、樹林的颯颯聲響、晴空云雀的鳴唱、成熟麥穗的竊竊私語、蜜蜂和熊蜂的嗡嗡等大自然的音樂,都應該是孩子早期獲得的音樂體驗。虎媽的兩個女兒后來都沒有就讀音樂專業,想必也與童年時代缺乏這種體驗有關。

凡在童年錯過的,很難乃至幾乎不可能在成年歲月中去彌補。兒童教育應追求“橫向豐富”,讓孩子充分地通過音樂、童話、創作來發展自己的精神力量,這其實就是對未來最好的準備。

此外,我們也應給孩子自我選擇的機會,至少要保護和發展孩子的一項愛好。孩子的選擇即使在成人看來是錯誤的,也體現了孩子的意志和精神自主性。我們不能借口孩子年幼而干涉他的一切選擇,什么都替孩子做決定,其實是在殺死孩子的精神生命。

給予孩子選擇的機會,也有助于孩子通過嘗試發現自己的興趣。而興趣意味著優勢和未來的競爭力,更關系到一個人的幸福感。孩子是有選擇能力的,夏山學校的實踐證明,即使是五六歲的幼兒也能發現自己的興趣所在。

目前很多家長為了孩子起步早、走得快、學得多,而不惜抄近路、搶時間、壓縮孩子的人生,而很少去考慮后果:孩子或者沒有輸在人生的起跑線上,卻往往輸在人生的終點上,因缺乏發展的后勁而泯然眾人;或者造成兒童的成人化,其應有的生長狀態難以得到充分的展現。他們或許能夠借助電子媒體快速獲得稻谷從播種、收割到做成米飯的全程知識,但聞不到稻穗抽芽時的清香。成長若忽略了精彩的過程,世界及生活對孩子來說就變得了無樂趣,為了某種外界認可的目標而不停奔波,即使成功也只是悲劇。

(作者單位:上海師范大學教育學院)

《中國教育報》2019年06月06日第9版 

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