首頁>檢索頁>當前

什么樣的孩子都不是來報恩的

發布時間:2019-05-16 作者:殷飛 來源:中國教育報

“學習不好的孩子是來報恩的”,這句某校長安慰成績不良學生家長的話,一下子觸及家長內心最柔軟的地方,讓“落后生”父母焦慮的心感到一絲安慰與釋然。學霸志在四方,遠渡重洋,父母晚景凄涼;“學渣”學業一般,繞膝承歡,父母感到慶幸。一對比,酸葡萄心理比出了一種別樣的效果。

在中國人心目中,孩子有兩個功能,要么如《孝經》所云,“立身行道,揚名于后世,以顯父母,孝之終也”,讓父母感到光榮,有“面子”;要么如這位校長所言,能夠帶著父母喝著小酒、唱著歌,享受人生,這是“里子”。

無論是光宗耀祖的“面子”還是小棉襖式的“里子”,都反映了兒童不獨立的家庭文化,反映了父母中心主義的家庭教育價值取向。從出生到成長,兒童都不被看作獨立的權利主體。如不少父母生孩子是為了穩定夫妻感情,甚至用孩子來拴住另一方的心;二孩政策放開后,有些父母為了在雙方家族取得姓氏平衡而生育。孩子成長過程中,用自己的視野和資源來規訓孩子人生道路的父母更是常見。

對這些親子關系中孩子人格不獨立的現象,人們早已習以為常,甚至混淆了孩子心智不成熟、能力不完善與人格獨立的關系。孩子的不成熟主要體現在心智水平和能力上,需要成人的保護、教育與訓練,而人格獨立是每個孩子個體生命的獨特性。孩子不屬于任何人,是有著獨特生命價值的人,不是為了誰才來到這個世界的。

只有把孩子當成有獨立人格的人,才有獨立的教育,才能把孩子培養成各具特色的人,最終讓每個孩子發揮潛能、成為獨立的社會人,成就自己,造福社會,而不是成為父母的“面子”或“里子”。

這一點,對秉持忠孝親子關系傳統的國人來說,理解與接受起來都很難。鼓勵父母認可孩子的獨立人格,不是要孩子與家庭情感割裂,而是鼓勵父母將孩子作為獨立的生命個體,育兒過程中別摻雜或者少摻雜自己的“私貨”,卸下孩子的情感與道德包袱,讓他們輕裝上陣,實現發現自我、服務社會的人生價值。

站在公共教育立場的校長與教師抱有類似觀念,更為不妥。學校的責任是用專業眼光發現每個孩子的優勢潛能,引領父母接納孩子個性化的學習風格,鼓勵孩子走自己的人生道路,而不是讓家長抱著欣喜和感恩接受一個學業失敗的孩子。

(作者單位:南京師范大學教育科學學院)

《中國教育報》2019年05月16日第10版 

0 0 0 0
分享到:0

相關閱讀

最新發布
熱門標簽
點擊排行
熱點推薦

工信部備案號:京ICP備05071141號

互聯網新聞信息服務許可證 10120170024

中國教育新聞網版權所有,未經書面授權禁止下載使用

Copyright@2000-2019 www.zn2scc.com All Rights Reserved.

京公網安備 11010802025840號

卓易彩票 8381v.com | 496cc.com | www.50026h.com | 2003.com | www.370833.com | www.hg5123.pw | 776072.com | www.04567n.com | 8159zz.cc | www.h90928.com | 55ee8332.com | www.581237.com | www.21033.com | 1813k.com | www.44118m.com | ojbk188.com | www.022tj.cc | www.05125f.com | 88553885.com | www.377666e.com | xl15.net | www.693930.com | www.jing6667.com | 5551779.com | www.hg8.vip | 3416f.com | www.160881.com | www.twcp.com | 86226k.com | www.44fzc.com | www.4938p.com | 3156iii.com | www.1434t.com | yh888j.com | www.260929.com | www.c9860.com | 7240q.com | www.34czj.com | www.848464.com | 1665r.com | www.8998755.com | www.mg4355888.com | 2443c.com | www.369410.com | ds00000.com | www.558429.com | www.d9478.com | 77606z.com | www.hczx3.com | www.sun0009.com | 39990055.com | www.821260.com | www.990998.com | yl66yl77.com | www.022a.cc | www.hg9935.com | 9679l.com | www.669772.com | www.tt1525.com | jing822.com | www.523121.com | www.38345s.com | yh888v.com | 061.com | www.xpj71333.com | www.boma0124.com | 08159t.com | www.88ckb.com | www.466669.com | blhkh1679.com | www.348499.com | www.vns6605.com | hg22814.com | jixiang10.com | www.68689l.com | www.vns77999.com | jing7771.com | 0600w.cc | www.050.la | www.55526m.com | pj38pj38.com | 8790q.com | www.6126w.com | www.df6644.com | 51133p.com | ncw060.com | www.jsc2019.com | www.58777d.com | 56787gg.com | www.591023.com | www.5189666.com | www.2090988.com | 4647011.com | www.770935.com | www.85xpj.com | www.ou95990.com | 2222k06.com | www.599049.com | www.704907.com | 55155d.com | 463n8.com | www.00840z.com | www.k1235.com | 22ss8331.com | 1331ll.com | www.2109l.com | www.666klcp.com | 87665a.com | 0485z.com | www.506600.com | www.11995454.com | 8449dd.com | xin666bb.com | www.5091c.com | www.sscb55.cc | www.7168803.com | mg437788.com | www.312299.com | www.hg8884.com | www.hg1161.com | 2018185188.com | www.504377.com | www.pjjtzy.cc | www.2846l.com | 3513.com | hg57977.com | www.1035o.com | www.8473l.com | www.hg6906.com | shibolianmen.com | www.34788a.com | www.105607.com | www.770405.com | 8577q.cc | 33557.com | www.338035.com | www.vip5888.com | www.79900.com | www.68666w.com | y4389.com | 4809f.com | www.001ac.com | www.06820f.com | www.df2220.com | 2767e.com | lehu9088.com | www.196095.com | www.2221106.com | www.c72.com | www.bj0011.com | 3868yhzz.com | 67877w.com | 98y88.vip | www.15010.cc | www.9187v.com | www.dz8789.com | 5369m.com | 77605y.com | 3121t.com | www.zfcp9.com | www.3775p.com | www.csh365.com | www.vnsr00888.com | 99567h.com | 7720h.net | www.273503.com | www.78949d.com | www.377666s.com | www.2850899.com | 3434xxx.com | 11113885.com | cc63777.com | 1463w.com | www.810527.com | www.bet73v.com | www.xpj448888.com | www.17828k.com | www.yun900.com | wb399.com | 294546.com | 3474000.com | www.818897.com | www.78949n.com | www.830217.com | www.50999h.com | www.567100.com | www.76543o.com | 2506f.com | 0003890.com | 3788b.com | 97799j.com | www.882186.com | www.69567s.com | www.rgcp22.com | www.hg6929.com | www.sjcp111.com | i32689.net | 315656.com | dh0638.com | www.35155t.com | 540855.com | 36517.info | www.196280.com | www.022o.cc | www.99638f.com | www.8905b.com | www.4196g.com | www.85857y.com | www.000243.com | www.3412277.com | www.ylhg0808.com | www.yl999.com | pjpj.cc | wxc0126.com | pjcp.com | v15666.com | 22698m.com | 59599j.com | 11qq8332.com | 99885002.com | igcp.com | 326.hk | bbxylqq.com | aobo43.com | www.178593.com | www.513477.com | www.658056.com | www.810525.com | www.c3956.com | www.caim3.com | www.2632g.com | www.50074b.com | www.13633.com | www.gx58qp.com | www.918.com | www.x999789.com | www.11599059.com | www.x66789.com | www.1434n.com | www.4102v.com | www.660188.com | www.1434d.com | www.4546200.com | www.07679j.com | www.12136c.com | www.77201.com | www.3350.vip | www.pujing75.com | www.77803f.com | www.21202q.com | www.9155f.cc | www.977657.com | www.c1371.com | www.927699.com | www.607316.com | www.338071.com | www.50080v.com | 7935e.com | 5804b.com | 084939.com | 5622e.com | hhh4255.com | hg3699.com | n2649.com | www.6033x.com | www.00829u.com | www.3775778.com | www.js410.com | www.lb55567.com | www.64566d.com | www.75600y.com | www.2418e.com | www.77803x.com | www.2632k.com | www.874110.com | www.276081.com | 2546w.com | 1592.com | 3662k.com | qycp06.com | www.8js189.com | www.8814b8.com | www.55422e.com | www.8808777.com | www.cn365v.com | www.86333b.com | www.50788k.com | www.854277.com | www.36787i.com | 0853dh.com | 91019.com | 159666e.com | 38989x.com | www.717818.am | www.hk278.com | www.9737yy.com | www.587189.com | www.00840l.com | www.514977.com | 315965.com | rrr5144.com | 86811cc.com | xx888x.com | www.hg128w.com | www.0590777.com | www.997287.com | www.99jtj.com | www.77803o.com | 1389zz.com | 55552007.com | www.xinhao3344.com | www.js106.cc | www.5049p.com | www.amjs339.com | www.666hy.cc | 6766rr.com | 641.com | 2714.com | www.221678.com | www.5446ii.com | www.7777bj.com | www.743533.com | 4379a.com | 53358l.com | www.aobo8877.com | www.v1186.com | www.js89l.vip | www.k795.com | 30006m.com | kkk40033.com | bifa.com | www.qmc0088.com | www.68993269.com | www.586113.com | 27365a.com | df8f.com | www.jsp02.com | www.4828228.com | www.79670.com | www.297126.com | z18.com | 566670055.com | www.881456.com | www.1764q.com | www.753956.com | 0152.com | jjjj.com | www.wi6666.com | www.sx139973.com | jianluntan.pw | 3389.live | www.xhtd4455.com | www.v88131.com | www.9149p.com | 11440.com | 6118s.com | www.z47.cc | www.7036d.com | www.769301.com | 914910.com | 7744.com | www.5099oo.com | www.5522h.cc | kn8pe8fq.pp.163.com | 3258.com | www.a81a.cc | www.9928f.com | zhcp20.com | 44bb8331.com | www.8967s.com | www.055j.cc | 27878oo.com | 8522tttt.com | www.20199ff.com | www.6832n.com | 3doprint.com | www.602msc.com | www.00773x.com | www.904830.com | 59859.com | www.3371777.com | www.680588.com | www.848255.com | 0683g.com | www.xpj6t6.com | www.3691a.com | www.54400u.com | 67890l.com | www.a80047.com | www.22274.vip | 6641l.com | 44077y.com | www.8473e.com | www.602852.com | 30688y.com | www.xin888111.com | www.bmw8004.com | 69440011.com | 3844ii.com | www.biying930vip.com | www.377506.com | 2757l.com | www.854569.com | www.004hy.cc | 3467l.cc | www.yh00bet.com | www.50051c.com | 2245dl.com | www.70000.com | www.vip7033.com | xpj718.com | 2805s.com | www.38138p.com | www.hcw823.com | 218jc.com | www.8313k.com | www.355246.com | wnsr8808.com | www.caipiao33.com | www.577837.com | 84497711.com | www.bwinyz24.com | www.33588v.com | 3122cc.com | www.33678tt.com | 35yy.vip | 30007n.com | www.60886m.com | 659pj.com | www.a78ts.com | www.0089.cc | 12741.com | www.245555.com | www.07929.cc | lll67890.com | www.38361.com | www.210639.com | 339850a.com | www.1764h.com | 390033k.com | www.67797y.com | www.50064m.com | 6175gg.com | www.jy879.com | www.342177.com | w2894.com | www.55717g.com | d47479.com | www.sb5201.com | www.qbwc6.com | lq0578.net | www.1851118.com | 9933kkk.com | www.v30226.com | www.666hy.cc | p01234.com | www.80188v.com | 22291177.com | www.amxj8855.com | www.599091.com | feicai0393.com | www.13434c.com | 4630000.com | www.ylg7777.com | www.191079.com | www.zb615.com | www.73736f.com | 3950e.com | www.biying920vip.com | qpby88.com | www.f5566.com | www.919709.com | jsh500.com | www.5958116.com | x444000.com | www.410083.com | jianwei.com | www.8694n.com | www.959122.com | 3009j.com | www.01822.com | pj00ee.com | www.776887.com | 2355c.com | www.1315522.com | 45637v.com | www.3335156.com | www.576734.com | www.xh118.com | www.1368j.cc | 2127.com | www.81233f.com | 28839w.com | www.5958115.com | 566777x.com | www.9955msc.com | hg21210.com | www.biying990vip.com | i4212.com | www.115207.com | 59599.com | www.pj88o.com | cp088t.com | www.xfc88.com | 0099341.com | www.4972k.com | 143573.com | www.19yh7.com | 386345.com | www.27363d.com | hg128.xyz | www.bet91483.com | 112o.net | www.1700777.com | 8040.com | www.3846b.com | 5666711.com | www.0194006.com | jbb71.cc | www.80075.com | 55gg8331.com | www.669zf.com | 23233h.com | www.781217.com | www.o30226.com | www.117035.com | www.ylg1108.com | ww5443.com | www.20199nn.com | 3522nn.cc | www.99552dd.com | 3846xx.com | www.whh4488.com | 8827qq.com | www.08408.com | www.ylg4444.com | www.580896.com | www.pj9075.com | qq1331.com | www.68806.com | 5504n.com | www.40288n.com | 3846hh.com | www.50989g.com | 20177770.com | www.335214.com | www.36677b.com | 7508.com | www.0057g.com | 01234n.com | www.2418z.com | 2019yy.cc | www.878743.com | www.248247.com | 9081.com | www.60886v.com | 28288ww.com | www.zcwf6.com | www.jh879.com | 1434u.com | www.ac771.com | 1468ddd.com | t1429.com | www.5309678.com | 0015kk.com | www.49956p.com | www.10088hg.com | 54140033.com | www.5516008.com | ly88888880.com | www.a32031.com | 28288f.com | www.3846cc.com | 2324.com | www.50080l.com | www.hcw266.com | www.85770v.com | 55545s.com | www.19019r.com | 82365j.com | www.qbwc6.com | www.606881.com | 83086w.com | www.33678mm.com | 2443d.com | www.554313.com | www.am98880.com | g8009.com | www.6364d.com | www.hg226.com | jjj4255.com | www.pj888j.com | www.j854.com | 5622o.com | www.778545.com | 667766k.com | yin6666.com | www.56730.cc | D8.com | www.001832.com | www.hg173i.com | 8957a.com | www.190994.com | www.cn365y.com | LXYL350.com | www.099386.com | www.4727088.com | 26444q.com | www.108057.com | www.vip9582.com | bb3189.com | 28288tt.com | www.g3410.com | 2381cc.com | dzyy634.com | www.12136y.com | www.ylhg4848.com | dejinbet.com | www.4809b.com | www.39695p.com | 3552v.com | www.5091y.com | www.667686.com | 3435g.com | www.346911.com | www.89677g.com | 3936o.com | 35252d.com | www.61233h.com | www.7111y.com | rr67890.com | www.602857.com | www.j69096.com | www.1869i.com | 7874.tt | www.99788j.com | www.1233789.com | 亿客隆.com | www.m.cjcp200.com | www.420086.com | xx56988.com | 2677kkk.com | www.6364c.com | www.bai3322.com | 8030b.com | jkglpeixun.com | www.fg9906.com | www.305kk.com | 4036222.com | www.155782.com | www.9103yy.com | www.bwin1188.net | 974022.com | www.320663.com | www.0612j.com | www.7622900.com | 50067h.com | www.599190.com | www.40288p.com | www.333133u.com | 4444c9.com | www.215077.com | www.hg860022.com | www.111hg1115.com | 35442999.com | 188qq44.com | www.60108f.com | www.34563.com | 6220o.com | 61327733.com | www.810872.com | www.30350p.com | www.7830d.com | 7240a.com | 12562004.com | www.60123q.com | www.ly19.com | www.ylhg7878.com | lc99g.com | www.515663.com | www.55676c.com | www.22441.com | 76543m.com | 88850kk.com | www.530833.com | www.win1238.com | www.www335505.com | 500000724.com | 00229193.com | www.375781.com | www.16065l.com | www.5966ttt.com | 66300vip27.com | 444000q.com | jm66.app | www.rrle2.com | www.60886p.com | www.amh008.com | hgyz5.com | 3568w.com | www.81678v.com | www.54400d.com | www.5099vv.com | www.8694z.com | 80850kk.com | 54443u.com | www.127179.com | www.77802t.com | www.pj1707.com | www.49123456.com | www.1869k.com | 3614v.com | 78808z.com | www.401267.com | www.68682f.com | www.3983119.com | www.57768u.com | lixingyoulun.cc | 081234.com | hutu87.com | www.636220.com | www.vip88.so | www.5981q.com | www.228369.com | www.95msc.com | 9309208.com | ben6.com | www.62118e.com | www.528qx.com | www.6547.com | www.7415ff.com | www.88837g.com | www.8520s.com | 22299ll.com | amjs119.com | yk802.com | www.394311.com | www.5484g.com | www.050881.com | www.4136i.com | www.800077gr.com | www.sjs11.com | 20054433.com | ggg444000.com | 2381f.com | www.603294.com | www.2109aa.com | www.js520988.cn | www.30350w.com | www.53322888.com | www.7893w28.com | 99993885.com | yf2444.com | yuhe.ooo | 5360m.com | 4639966.com | www.160913.com | www.810517.com | www.29277f.com | www.44447375.com | www.5446.com | www.38138a.com | www.23886.com | www.hg2993.com | www.vns994.cc | 3938nn.com | 168c7.com | 4136q.com | newsxweew12.com | 1294l.com | 3559ww.com | m8159.cc | 4195qq.com | www.237399.com | www.666937.com | www.6tdc.com | www.5086a.com | www.68568z.com | www.25809.com | www.458633.com | www.36489.com | www.67333.com | www.099989f.com | www.838967.com | www.sun00.com | www.338830.com | www.pj8819.com | www.vns20033.com | 707144.com | 0080o.com | 28288ll.com | 80368pp.com | 4289t.com | 2146h.com | 6261520.com | amhg044.com | 4995b.com | 3566ff.com | s86226.com | 159666147.com | so666.cc | 67877x.com | 11oo8331.com | 00773vv.com | 44002007.com | 3844xx.com | ii5443.com | 23066.com | 2019g.cc | www.kb9988.com | www.pjqinghai.com | www.333222f.com | www.am1666.com | www.655666h.com | www.pj888055.com | www.6663009.com | www.88837t.com | www.65866.com | www.001481.com | www.0477msc.com | www.31809.com | www.agcpw.com | www.71071y.com | www.9570113.com | www.91779c.com | www.42070017.com | www.993916.com | www.86267s.com | www.5086z.com | www.969751.com | www.567630.com | www.371956.com | www.063911.com | feicai0475.com | feicai0931.com | 6200js.com | 4136v.com | qq365k.com | ff555c.com | 6922012.com | www.655666h.com | www.75499.com | www.181678.com | www.4694u.com | www.y8917.com | www.0343y.com | www.3978t.com | www.33598s.com | www.216777a.com | www.324277.com | 84497799.com | 20777711.com | jj3405.com | sha0003.com | www.55555t.com | www.55268ww.com | www.349459.com | www.751cp1.com | www.104665.com | www.120655.com | www.3890i.com | www.760320.com | 188qq44.com | 66648t.com | p4212.com | 66876r.com | www.wnsr818.com | www.948884.com | www.u3065.com | www.fg9908.com | www.084wy.com | www.196903.com | v47479.com | 8538d.com | 0747n.com | www.3459d.com | www.751pk10.com | www.1199nsb.com | www.6832q.com | www.257630.com | 5429h.com | 600.cc | 50067u.com | www.00755.com | www.746778.com | www.35700e.com | www.ag.hg3005.com | www.927586.com | 3009s.com | 88807n.com | 2595p.com | www.40686e.com | www.2302327.com | www.js0909.com | www.917699.com | www.033253.com | 56787ww.com | 9158bo.com | www.yh8220.com | www.984365.com | www.js56774.com | www.qml2.com | 11422n.com | 37688z.com | 1770g.com | www.028448.com | www.m.195668.com | www.66fft.com | 500000732.com | 66287d.com | www.555xin2.com | www.kwsy555.com | www.qiji666.com | www.888258.com | 1125.com | dw777.net | www.pj2016.com | www.26123aa.com | www.07163u.com | bowanwang.com | 75991j.com | d55.com | www.r7793.com | www.588vip.xyz | www.343277.com | 599729.com | 4023p.com | www.683012.com | www.6667758.com | www.560681.com | 3846j.com | 89892aa.com | www.ns1122.com | www.4323z.com | www.52072g.com | 2324ooo.com | www.119946.com | www.00773h.com | www.983jc.com | 7249.com | 667766f.com | www.68556.com | www.9422d.com | www.108067.com | 7599.at | www.dy6611.com | www.45598h.com | www.890703.com | hg1558.com | www.033033f.com | www.ggx.99233x.com | www.00665c.com | 77778940.com | 2146w.com | www.ld003.com | www.889601.com | 32126q.net | 8722xxxx.com | www.6663009.com | www.hg77740.com | www.193161.com | kkk67890.com | www.xin777888.com | www.295002.com | www.578411.com | 61789j.com | www.7893w28.com | www.56011o.com | www.117809.com | bb40033.com | www.xhf5555.com | www.0134008.com | www.226065.com | biying900.com | www.0114444.com | www.dayou266.com | 6363w.com | 0033t.cc | www.4694c.com | www.730979.com | 4182q.com | www.vns8892.com | www.280772.com | www.234972.com | 80368nn.com | www.1222l.com | www.07163j.com | 3846fff.com | www.7025s.com | www.r98478.com | 500000335.com | 2078d.com | www.472701.com | www.550249.com | 92266i.com | www.dg533.com | www.5095t.com | 38850066.com | www.362838.com | www.3775c.com | hcp7777.com | www.591109.app | www.107601.com | www.364688.com | 98955b.com | www.27363h.com | www.745955.com | 4196r.com | www.hf7799.com | www.828516.com | m4255.com | www.3122v.com | www.2373a.com | 1458k.com | www.581555.com | www.5522e.cc | vns8049.com | www.7494455.com | www.60ksw.com | 22c53.com | www.09766.com | www.987441.com | 020700.com | www.jsc33.com | www.557595.com | jinsha.tm | www.89599x.com | www.369499.com | zhcp33.com | www.88325l.com | 55p1.cc | www.39695.com | www.882918.com | ee1331.com | www.5312m.com | www.5091h.com | 2214xx.com | www.5114111.com | www.426060.com | 3844j.com | www.99552pp.com | 38820000.com | www.yh8003.com | www.87668j.com | 4182n.com | www.js5599.vip | www.568380.com | 3379uu.com | www.0088hgee.com | sss3405.com | www.696111.com | www.917737.com | 1294x.com | www.848777f.com | www.60007e.com | www.3435222.com | www.6768997.com | wnsr88.com | www.597567.com | www.354911.com | 89892oo.com | www.32031q.com | 234902.com | www.msc355.com | www.535121.com | amjsc05.com | www.365.tv | 8159fff.cc | www.98698e.com | b3144.com | www.39695w.com | www.987590.com | wns950.com | www.pj9030.com | 9995a.cc | www.jjjj55555.com | 79964f.com | www.333133e.com | www.952856.com | 2613b.com |