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父母“996”兒童久久泣

發布時間:2019-04-18 作者:姜繼為 來源:中國教育報

日前,互聯網行業的“996工作制”話題持續發酵,有些人甚至別有用心地把“996工作制”作為一種奮斗精神、勤勞品德來鼓吹和頌揚,實在是混淆視聽,值得警醒。

所謂“996工作制”,即互聯網行業普遍實行的員工早9點上班、晚9點下班、一周工作6天的工作機制。當前我國互聯網行業從業人數約有1700萬,這一數字在未來還將攀升。這一龐大行業中的每個員工,同時也是家庭中的兒子、丈夫和父親,他們的孩子會直接受到“996工作制”的傷害。很多孩子被送往老家交給祖輩帶大,在父母身邊的幾乎由母親單獨撫養,出現網上自嘲的“喪偶式撫育”。

“996工作制”違反勞動法、背離一百多年來人類勞動文明的基本精神,對勞動者家庭與家庭教育極為有害。

父母缺失帶來慘痛教訓

半個多世紀前,美國威斯康星大學動物心理學家哈里·哈洛做了“恒河猴實驗”,那些由玩具“絨布母猴”撫養大的猴子不能和其他猴子一起玩耍,性格極其孤僻,甚至性成熟后不能交配。實驗證明父母養育具有至關重要的人類學價值。父母的生活照料與陪伴、身心接觸和交融、思想感情的注入和溝通、生活的關愛和指導,是兒童安全感、人生溫暖、發展動力的主要來源。

這項“缺愛綜合征”研究揭示出,父母陪伴的缺失,會給兒童帶來不同程度的傷害,例如怕見生人、自信心不足、溝通力低、性格壓抑,行為舉止怪異,自卑、焦慮、抑郁、反叛,怨恨父母、婚戀受阻、仇視社會甚至違法犯罪等。這些惡果往往需要兒童和家長用一生去彌補,家庭的損失常常轉化為社會損失,需要社會高價代償。

當前社會不斷出現的“發展偏離兒童、失控的兒童、不良少年、問題少年”,無可辯駁地證明,父母陪伴和養育的缺失既降低了整代人的成長質量,喪失了巨額的“社會資本”,又危及社會穩定和國家核心競爭力。為此,世界衛生組織早已提出,“父親與兒童相處每天應在兩小時以上”,這是有科學根據和深刻意義的。

兒童被輕視 童年被掠奪

“996現象”不但是對互聯網從業人員的壓榨,更直接剝奪了企業員工陪伴與教育子女的時間,對家庭關系、親情關系、子女良好教育發展造成嚴重影響。“996工作制”不該作為一種奮斗精神來鼓吹和頌揚,不接受“996工作制”不該被貼上懶惰、不思進取的標簽。教育工作者尤其要發出捍衛兒童權利的聲音。

強迫父母加班,從根本上是無視兒童、無視兒童的獨特性、無視兒童的價值,以為“兒童糊弄糊弄也能長大長好”“童年的感受僅僅局限在童年”……在成人與兒童、職業發展與兒童發展,公司發展與員工孩子發展等沖突中,兒童總是被犧牲掉,兒童的權利總是被侵奪。

一旦盛行“兒童無所謂觀”,成人社會的各種選擇都缺少兒童視角的考量,于是父母傷害自家孩子不以為意,一些有權有勢的人傷害了兒童還振振有詞、理直氣壯、態度傲慢、毫無愧疚。

大量“996工作制”下的年輕父母,“早上出門,孩子睡著;晚上回來,孩子也睡著”“回到家中,癱在床上,沒有力氣多說一句話,更別提帶孩子”“放下工作養不起你,拿起工作陪不了你”……表面上是家長個人的兩難選擇,實際上是社會問題,要尋求社會解決。

如果“996工作制”大行其道,大批父母缺失職責,社會價值可能會變成——

崇尚“狼性文化”,否定普通人,不懂人格平等,不尊重他人生活方式;

崇尚豪氣沖天、夜以繼日工作的“英雄”,否定正常睡覺、正常吃飯的需求,對老百姓追求“老婆孩子熱炕頭”嗤之以鼻;

崇尚“人定勝天”的主觀能動性,透支健康,靠壓榨生命、極限奮斗而非工具革新、技術發明、提高效率等來解決問題;

追求“畢其功于一役”,一夜變臉為高大上、迅即躋身五百強;只知有用之用、不懂無用之用,無視文史哲、心理健康、“屁大孩子”等無用之用的價值;

唯成功是從,把成功狹隘地鎖定在獲得金錢上,只追求財富積累,輕視公司文化、人際氛圍、工作方式、員工愛好與身體狀況、技術品牌等價值,缺乏法治意識、邊界意識,跨界布置工作、提要求……

令人痛心的是,當下這些思潮已然誤導無數家庭的秩序和生活節奏出了問題,撇下兒女去“奮斗”“享受‘996’是巨大福氣”成為不少領導和員工的共識。這樣的共識構造出獨特的職場加班文化和加班景觀,一茬茬父母體驗著無法自己帶孩子的苦惱,卻很少思考父母陪伴缺失對孩子童年的掠奪和傷害。

為保護兒童應保護父母角色

1959年聯合國大會通過《兒童權利宣言》,明確提出“兒童應享受社會安全的各種利益,應有健康地成長和發展的權利。為此,對兒童及其母親應給予特別的照料和保護,包括產前和產后的適當照料”。

保護兒童,就要優待母親,就不能讓“996工作制”“奮斗歌”大行其道,保障父母正常上下班,孩子才能承歡父母膝下而不被失養、失教。

《兒童權利宣言》提出:“兒童應受到特別保護,并應通過法律和其他方法而獲得各種機會與便利……在為此目的而制定法律時,應以兒童的最大利益為首要考慮。”因此,公司法、勞動法、安全法等相關法律均應從保護兒童權利的角度,寫入限制作為父母的員工工作時間等條款,保護家庭、保護父母角色、保護兒童權益,給未來發展留下最重要的“青山綠水”,留下可持續發展的人力資源。

一百年前,魯迅在《我們現在怎樣做父親》中批判傳統父權、家庭對兒童的束縛,呼吁救救孩子。今天,“我們如何做父母”的問題仍很嚴峻,尤其要面對客觀上“‘996’讓人做不成父母”的新問題。面對兒童,所有的成年人請思考應該怎樣做才是善待孩子、善待人類的未來。

(作者系北京聯合大學師范學院教授)

《中國教育報》2019年04月18日第9版 

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